Oatmeal for Breakfast

Miraculous. Perfect. Evidence of God’s hand at work in our lives….this is Beatrice’s story.

In July, we first found out about little baby Beatrice’s presence in our life. After our first doctor’s appointment in August, we told our family members. We waited until the second trimester to spread the news to everyone. This was tough because we were SO EXCITED that we would have a new member of the family to add to the adventure of life!

On October 10th, I felt little Beatrice move for the first time and each subsequent kick brought heaps of joy!

We had our 20 week ultrasound November 2nd and from what we could tell everything looked great! November 3rd, minutes after I wrote this post, I received a phone call from the doctor’s office asking us to come in because the doctor wanted to review our ultrasound with us. I didn’t think  much of this at first because the office was really busy the day of our ultrasound and the receptionist, who told us to leave the day before, is a bit of a space cadet. Our meeting with the doctor was not good. Baby McPherson was in the 21st percentile for size, which wasn’t terrible, her organs all looked good, but then she showed us the images indicating a problem with our little baby. There was a hematoma on the placenta at the umbilical cord site. This could put a clot in the umbilical cord and cut off the flow from the placenta. At any time, our child’s life could be lost. The worst part was that I had not fallen or experienced any other trauma. This hematoma was an anomaly.We were now considered “high risk” and would have additional ultrasounds to monitor the baby and the placenta. Even at this point, God’s had was at work! My parents were present at the ultrasound the day before, but did not join us for the follow up appointment with the doctor. We were able to prevent them months of worry. Our doctor acknowledged that modern medicine only takes us so far and that each life is a miracle. She could monitor everything, but ultimately, this one was up to God.

No, we did not cry in the office. Yes, I broke down in the car on the way back to work.

The following weeks were nerve wracking. I spent my time trying to think of some reason or explanation of this, something I’d done that caused the hematoma, something I could blame. I blamed myself. I cried out to God. I just plain cried.

I spoke with a select group of friends and requested prayer for the health of our baby. I can’t think of another time in my life I’ve prayed about my health. Jonathan was planning to spend early December on a two week mission trip to South Africa. We knew God had called him to this and I knew there wasn’t anything he could do to change things, so he went. Jonathan shared the news with his mission trip team and they joined us in praying. Before he left on the trip, the elders at church prayed over us and for us.

I felt selfish and horrible praying for myself and our baby in such a way. I prayed through tears, asking God that He use this situation for His glory regardless of the outcome. That He would draw us close, even if it meant we did not come home from the hospital with a warm baby in our arms. There were days when I just couldn’t pray. In those days I was even more thankful than ever for Jonathan. He prayed the prayers that I could not pray. He held me and cried out to God on behalf of our family.

So we had extra ultrasounds and non-stress tests and every hour I counted kicks. If you had asked me at any time how many kicks I’d felt in the last hour, I could tell you. I was vigilant. I was on alert. I was so very tired, but I was thankful for each morning that I was awakened by little Beatrice bouncing around inside me.

One of the key verses in our devotion book around this time was Isaiah 33:6: “And He will be the stability of your times, A wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; The fear of the Lord is his treasure.” in this passage, the  ”He” refers to Jesus Christ. We clung to Jesus for stability. I wrote this verse on a note card that is still taped near our kitchen sink as a reminder.

Part two is coming soon….